CABIN ROOM 350
yellowness: 95% | smell: generic cola | burps heard: 253 | omo level: 8/9
~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§MOPR█░▒
* WHAT IS IN ROOM 350 *
a door labelled EXIT opens into the same room but 3% more yellow and 1 burp older.
the humming stops for exactly one second. that was him inhaling the year 2049.
you hear a burp from the room you have not entered yet. it is dated next tuesday.
you have gone deep enough that the cabin considers you furniture. sit still. be useful.
.-"""""-.
.' o o '. B U R P
/ \_____/ \ ~~~~~~~~
| ( BURRRP ) | ( o o )
\ '-----' / \ ___ /
'. _____ .' ~~~~~~
'-.....-' ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
___________________________
| CAN OF WARM COLA (HOLY) |
|___________________________|
| ~ ~ ~ |
| ~fizz~ | <-- do not shake
| ~ ~ ~ | he is asleep in there
|_________|
* TERMINAL (STICKY KEYS) *
> DIR C:\CABIN\ARCHIVE > 10 FILE(S) FOUND ... 8,412,009 FILE(S) HIDDEN > RUN BURP.EXE > BURP.EXE IS ALREADY RUNNING (SINCE 1998) > RUN OMO.EXE > OMO.EXE RAN YOU INSTEAD > STOP BURP.EXE > ... > ACCESS DENIED BY STOMACH
_
* SIGNAL FROM ROOM ∞ *
~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█ Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO ░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞▓OMO~≡█UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓ ~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█ Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§MOPR█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO ░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞▓OMO~≡█UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓
translation: "omo" (confidence: 4%)
* WEATHER (INTERNAL) *
~ ~ warm front ~ ~
( ) ( ) ( )
burp burp burp
chance of dad: 89%
* THE ARCHIVE — DRAWER 350 (DAMP, SWOLLEN) *
filing cabinet found unlocked. everything inside is about burps, the future, and OMO. nobody here can explain why. click a file. you will not understand it. that is the correct outcome. understanding is a fire hazard.
- [?] §MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO~.TXTUNREADABLE
* WALL WRITING (VARIOUS HANDS) *
"i have read every file. i now know less than the carpet."
"THE BURP CAME FIRST. THE MOUTH WAS BUILT AFTERWARDS."
"room 350 is not the real room 350"
"OMO WAS NEVER A WORD. WE JUST GOT TIRED."
"if you can read this you are still being digested — enjoy"
* ARCHIVIST'S NOTE #[ROTTED] *
day 1: catalogued 40 files. day 2: catalogued 40 files. same 40. different words. day 9: the cabinet burped at me. i said bless you. it said thank you. day 30: found a file dated next year. it is about me. it is complimentary. day ??: i am the cabinet now. please file me under B.
* THE FUTURE (ALREADY BURPED, ARCHIVED ANYWAY) *
2031 ______ | OMO | |______| the coin learns to hiccup
2049 ~~~~~~ ( () ) ~~~~~~ all rooms agree to be one room
???? \|/ -OMO- /|\ burpgod burps and it is warm
the archive stores the future in the damp drawer because it keeps rising otherwise. do not open the future while eating. it opens back.