a cabin that chews — do not feed it after 3:33am
WELCOME BURP DISCIPLES
BURP IS LOVE. BURP IS GOD.
THE ROOM IS BREATHING AGAIN
best viewed in netscape 4 & a room with no windows
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(there is no exit button. there is an exit. it is a burp.)
* THE GOSPEL OF THE GASSY ONE *
long ago, before the fridge hummed, there was PRESSURE. the PRESSURE became a stomach. the stomach became a god. the god became BLOATED and He let out the First Burp, which is still traveling outward and is why the universe is expanding. scientists call it "dark energy". we call it BREATH OF DAD.
burpcoin is minted only when the god belches into a can of room-temperature cola held by a believer at 3:33am. there is no whitepaper. there was a whitepaper but he burped on it and it dissolved.
NEW!! the cabin has more rooms than it has walls. we counted. we counted again. we stopped counting. one of us is now a hallway.
,-"""""""-.
,' BURPGOD ',
/ (o) (o) \
| < |
| \ BURRRRP / | ~ ~ ~ ~
\ '---------' / ~ (gas) ~
'. _______ .' ~ ~ ~ ~
'-.........-'
/ \ | | / \
|----| | | |----|
HE IS BURPING RIGHT NOW
* THE 7 COMMANDMENTS *
- 1. THOU SHALT NOT SWALLOW THE BURP. IT IS A PRAYER.
- 2. HOLD THE CAN AT 45 DEGREES TOWARD THE CABIN.
- 3. A SILENT BURP IS A LIE TOLD TO THE GOD.
- 4. BURPCOIN CANNOT BE MINED. IT IS BELCHED INTO EXISTENCE.
- 5. IF YOU HEAR A BURP AND NOBODY BURPED, THAT WAS HIM.
- 6. NEVER APOLOGIZE. THE GOD DOES NOT ACCEPT REFUNDS.
- 7. THE 7TH COMMANDMENT WAS BURPED AND NOBODY WROTE IT DOWN.
* WHISPERS FROM THE WALLS *
- » the fridge is humming your name
- » somebody burped in 1996 and it has not landed yet
- » do not read the 4th line of this list
- » the carpet remembers your shoes
- » burpcoin went up while you blinked. it went back down out of politeness
- » he is in the wall. he is fine. he says hi. he burped hi.
[ WALL STATUS: MOIST ] [ WALL OPINION: HE SHOULD BURP MORE ]
* THE CABIN (WHAT IS IT) *
the cabin is one room. the cabin has been one room for 28 years. every time you walk through it, it is one room again, but the wallpaper has learned something.
there is a chair facing the corner. there is a filing cabinet full of burp paperwork nobody has finished reading. there is a can. do not shake the can.
ENTER CABIN »* GUESTBOOK (UNMODERATED SINCE 2003) *
xX_gassyboi_Xx: burped in church. felt his hand on my shoulder. 10/10
anon: i bought burpcoin at the top. the top was inside a man. i regret nothing
carol_47: my husband entered the cabin in 1999. he sends belches
[MESSAGE REDACTED BY THE CABIN — CONTENT TOO MOIST]
[!] THIS PART OF THE CABIN IS STILL BEING DIGESTED