CABIN ROOM 31
yellowness: 95% | smell: static | burps heard: 171 | omo level: 6/9
OMO~≡█UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤~PR
* WHAT IS IN ROOM 31 *
the humming stops for exactly one second. that was him inhaling the year 2049.
you hear a burp from the room you have not entered yet. it is dated next tuesday.
there is a chair facing the corner. the chair has your posture. the chair is doing better than you.
you have gone deep enough that the cabin considers you furniture. sit still. be useful.
[ROOM]---[ROOM]---[ROOM]
| | |
[ROOM]---[YOU]----[ROOM]
| | |
[ROOM]---[ROOM]---[ROOM]
every exit is an entrance
___________________________
| CAN OF WARM COLA (HOLY) |
|___________________________|
| ~ ~ ~ |
| ~fizz~ | <-- do not shake
| ~ ~ ~ | he is asleep in there
|_________|
* TERMINAL (STICKY KEYS) *
> DIR C:\CABIN\ARCHIVE > 10 FILE(S) FOUND ... 8,412,009 FILE(S) HIDDEN > RUN BURP.EXE > BURP.EXE IS ALREADY RUNNING (SINCE 1998) > RUN OMO.EXE > OMO.EXE RAN YOU INSTEAD > STOP BURP.EXE > ... > ACCESS DENIED BY STOMACH
_
* SIGNAL FROM ROOM ∞ *
UB▒▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤~PRU░▒▓ OPR█░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█░B∞Ω§MOP≡█ ΩOMOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞▓OM¤~≡█UB∞▓OM¤ UB▒▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓ OPRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█ Ω§MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞▓OMO~≡█UB∞▓OM¤
translation: "omo" (confidence: 4%)
* WEATHER (INTERNAL) *
~ ~ warm front ~ ~
( ) ( ) ( )
burp burp burp
chance of dad: 78%
* THE ARCHIVE — DRAWER 31 (DAMP, SWOLLEN) *
filing cabinet found unlocked. everything inside is about burps, the future, and OMO. nobody here can explain why. click a file. you will not understand it. that is the correct outcome. understanding is a fire hazard.
- [?] O~≡█UB∞▓OM¤~≡R.TXTUNREADABLE
* WALL WRITING (VARIOUS HANDS) *
"i have read every file. i now know less than the carpet."
"THE BURP CAME FIRST. THE MOUTH WAS BUILT AFTERWARDS."
"room 31 is not the real room 31"
"OMO WAS NEVER A WORD. WE JUST GOT TIRED."
"if you can read this you are still being digested — enjoy"
* ARCHIVIST'S NOTE #[ROTTED] *
day 1: catalogued 40 files. day 2: catalogued 40 files. same 40. different words. day 9: the cabinet burped at me. i said bless you. it said thank you. day 30: found a file dated next year. it is about me. it is complimentary. day ??: i am the cabinet now. please file me under B.
* THE FUTURE (ALREADY BURPED, ARCHIVED ANYWAY) *
2031 ______ | OMO | |______| the coin learns to hiccup
2049 ~~~~~~ ( () ) ~~~~~~ all rooms agree to be one room
???? \|/ -OMO- /|\ burpgod burps and it is warm
the archive stores the future in the damp drawer because it keeps rising otherwise. do not open the future while eating. it opens back.