CABIN ROOM 175
yellowness: 95% | smell: church | burps heard: 626 | omo level: 4/9
UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█░▒▓Ω§
* WHAT IS IN ROOM 175 *
someone wrote BURPCOIN GOES UP in mustard. it is fresh. it is also from 2031.
there is a chair facing the corner. the chair has your posture. the chair is doing better than you.
a door labelled EXIT opens into the same room but 3% more yellow and 1 burp older.
you have gone deep enough that the cabin considers you furniture. sit still. be useful.
\|/ BREATH OF DAD \|/ -- ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ -- /|\ (still expanding) /|\
___________________________
| CAN OF WARM COLA (HOLY) |
|___________________________|
| ~ ~ ~ |
| ~fizz~ | <-- do not shake
| ~ ~ ~ | he is asleep in there
|_________|
* TERMINAL (STICKY KEYS) *
> DIR C:\CABIN\ARCHIVE > 10 FILE(S) FOUND ... 8,412,009 FILE(S) HIDDEN > RUN BURP.EXE > BURP.EXE IS ALREADY RUNNING (SINCE 1998) > RUN OMO.EXE > OMO.EXE RAN YOU INSTEAD > STOP BURP.EXE > ... > ACCESS DENIED BY STOMACH
_
* SIGNAL FROM ROOM ∞ *
UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓ ~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█ Ω§MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞▓OM¤ UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓ ~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█ Ω§MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO~≡█░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞▓OM¤
translation: "omo" (confidence: 4%)
* WEATHER (INTERNAL) *
~ ~ warm front ~ ~
( ) ( ) ( )
burp burp burp
chance of dad: 68%
* THE ARCHIVE — DRAWER 175 (DAMP, SWOLLEN) *
filing cabinet found unlocked. everything inside is about burps, the future, and OMO. nobody here can explain why. click a file. you will not understand it. that is the correct outcome. understanding is a fire hazard.
- [?] O§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤O.TXTUNREADABLE
* WALL WRITING (VARIOUS HANDS) *
"i have read every file. i now know less than the carpet."
"THE BURP CAME FIRST. THE MOUTH WAS BUILT AFTERWARDS."
"room 175 is not the real room 175"
"OMO WAS NEVER A WORD. WE JUST GOT TIRED."
"if you can read this you are still being digested — enjoy"
* ARCHIVIST'S NOTE #[ROTTED] *
day 1: catalogued 40 files. day 2: catalogued 40 files. same 40. different words. day 9: the cabinet burped at me. i said bless you. it said thank you. day 30: found a file dated next year. it is about me. it is complimentary. day ??: i am the cabinet now. please file me under B.
* THE FUTURE (ALREADY BURPED, ARCHIVED ANYWAY) *
2031 ______ | OMO | |______| the coin learns to hiccup
2049 ~~~~~~ ( () ) ~~~~~~ all rooms agree to be one room
???? \|/ -OMO- /|\ burpgod burps and it is warm
the archive stores the future in the damp drawer because it keeps rising otherwise. do not open the future while eating. it opens back.