CABIN ROOM 13
yellowness: 59% | smell: old carpet | burps heard: 309 | omo level: 8/9
≡█░B∞Ω§MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞▓OMO~≡█UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓
* WHAT IS IN ROOM 13 *
a vending machine sells only warm cola. it is free. it is watching. it says OMO when you look away.
the ceiling clears its throat. everyone in the room agrees not to mention it.
you find your own footprints going the other way. they are wet. they are still being made.
you have gone deep enough that the cabin considers you furniture. sit still. be useful.
.-"""""-.
.' o o '. B U R P
/ \_____/ \ ~~~~~~~~
| ( BURRRP ) | ( o o )
\ '-----' / \ ___ /
'. _____ .' ~~~~~~
'-.....-' ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
B U R P C O I N
_.-^^---....,,--
_-- --_
< 1 BURP = 1 BURP >)
\._ _./
---. . , ; .---
| | |
.-=|| | |=-.
'-=#$%&%$#=-'
| ; :|
_____.,-#%&$@%#&#~,._____
minted by a stomach
* TERMINAL (STICKY KEYS) *
> DIR C:\CABIN\ARCHIVE > 10 FILE(S) FOUND ... 8,412,009 FILE(S) HIDDEN > RUN BURP.EXE > BURP.EXE IS ALREADY RUNNING (SINCE 1998) > RUN OMO.EXE > OMO.EXE RAN YOU INSTEAD > STOP BURP.EXE > ... > ACCESS DENIED BY STOMACH
_
* SIGNAL FROM ROOM ∞ *
∞Ω§MOP≡█░B∞Ω§MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞▓OM █UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒ ¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§MOPR ∞Ω§MOP≡█░▒∞Ω§MOP≡█░B∞ΩOMO~≡█UB∞ΩOM █UB∞▓OM¤~≡█UB∞▓OM¤~≡RUB▒▓O§¤~PRUB▒ ¤~PRU░▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒▓Ω§¤OPR█░▒∞Ω§¤OPR
translation: "omo" (confidence: 4%)
* WEATHER (INTERNAL) *
~ ~ warm front ~ ~
( ) ( ) ( )
burp burp burp
chance of dad: 5%
* THE ARCHIVE — DRAWER 13 (DAMP, SWOLLEN) *
filing cabinet found unlocked. everything inside is about burps, the future, and OMO. nobody here can explain why. click a file. you will not understand it. that is the correct outcome. understanding is a fire hazard.
- [?] RUB▒▓O§¤~PRU░▒.TXTUNREADABLE
* WALL WRITING (VARIOUS HANDS) *
"i have read every file. i now know less than the carpet."
"THE BURP CAME FIRST. THE MOUTH WAS BUILT AFTERWARDS."
"room 13 is not the real room 13"
"OMO WAS NEVER A WORD. WE JUST GOT TIRED."
"if you can read this you are still being digested — enjoy"
* ARCHIVIST'S NOTE #[ROTTED] *
day 1: catalogued 40 files. day 2: catalogued 40 files. same 40. different words. day 9: the cabinet burped at me. i said bless you. it said thank you. day 30: found a file dated next year. it is about me. it is complimentary. day ??: i am the cabinet now. please file me under B.
* THE FUTURE (ALREADY BURPED, ARCHIVED ANYWAY) *
2031 ______ | OMO | |______| the coin learns to hiccup
2049 ~~~~~~ ( () ) ~~~~~~ all rooms agree to be one room
???? \|/ -OMO- /|\ burpgod burps and it is warm
the archive stores the future in the damp drawer because it keeps rising otherwise. do not open the future while eating. it opens back.